this week in tv

Heroes: So...much...moral...ambiguity. Have...lost...all...bearings. Must...find...sanctimonious moral certitude. Oh, phew, Sarah Palin video clip.
Mad Men: Loved the shout out to Daddy Whitman. And is Pete courting Peggy in his slimy Pete Campbell way?
Brothers & Sisters: What's it with maternal overdrive Kitty? Didn't she, like, used to have a career, too, or something? Also: Shouldn't Robert be, like, saving the nation from financial ruin in the Senate, too, or something?
How I Met Your Mother: NPH was robbed, I say.
Gossip Girl: omg. bitch!serena is so much more interesting than torturedreformer!serena. And episode awesomeness increases exponentially when screen time for Vanessa/Nate decreases.

notes on gop veep selection

1.) McCain feminist memo to disaffected PUMAs: see, your candidate could have been on the ticket, if only she were an underqualified beauty queen.

2.) Pick clearly based on South Ossetia sitch, b/c Alaska is basically part of Russia or whatever.

3.) Possibly time for Obama/Geraldine to make nicey nice.

4.) Coming soon to primetime: veep debate showdown btw. apparent non-birth-control-using Catholic Biden-Palin clans. X factor: surprise appearance by five Romney sons to vindicate dad swings melee in Biden's favor.

5.) McCain now seems to be staking campaign on ViagraDads and an apparent belief in the utter stupidity of women.

why i like joe biden

1.) Yes.

2.) Shares my values as a fellow commuter.

3.) Has Rudy Giuliani's character down pat.

4.) Presumably has left biggest dumbass moves and verbal gaffes behind him.

5.) Not chosen because of stupid fallacy that can deliver electoral votes he represents (see: Edwards, John - NC) but because can deliver electoral votes that somehow has affinity with (see Lieberman, Joe - FL...oh wait, dammit. ... well, technically)

farewell to charleston edition

things i will miss about charleston...
1.) The people. Which means the HAs. Because, seriously, they put us in an isolation chamber.
2.) Los Potrillos. Truly the Casa Fiesta of Charleston.
3.) Lincoln Springs Family Resort. Who can argue with the world's tallest statue of Abraham Lincoln? "Honest fun for everyone."
4.) The streets named after the presidents in order. Because I always know where I am.
5.) The gym. Elliptical machine with attached cable tv heaven.
6.) The lab. Where else will I ever find a computing station, cafe, seminar room, sauna, igloo, movie theater, kitchen, hangout, bomb shelter, art studio, non-climate controlled storage facility, pumpkin-carving venue, and banquet hall all rolled into one?

things i will not miss about charleston....
1.) The lab. Temperature fluctuations that could kill cold-blooded animals, unyielding fluorescent lights, uncooperative network drive, faint coloring of panic and desperation in the painted walls, sinister cocoon-like atmosphere wherein no matter how awesome I am, there are very few jobs for historical administration butterflies constantly hanging overhead.
2.) Route 16. Most fast food joints per capita, ever.
3.) Mattoon Depot. Am all for restoring it to former glory, but the five mind-numbing hours I spent there waiting for the inexcusably late Amtrak really served to dispel any architectural nostalgia.
4.) Wal-mart, Wal-mart, everywhere. And not a good freaking piece of produce to be found.
5.) The convoluted layout of the library. Keeping the old facade = good. Creating a firetrap with a dearth of entrances/exits and one stairway = bad.
6.) Explaining to people that no, I am not living in South Carolina.

things about charleston that will haunt me for the rest of my days...
1.) Vinyl siding. I will never be able to escape it.
2.) Lincoln. He's here, he's there, he's everywhere. And sometimes those chainsaw statues appear in my nightmares.
3.) The origins of Jimmy John's and "Burger King." Is it sad that these are the best Charleston/Mattoon stories that I will bear to the outside world?
4.) The two-story outhouse. A conceptual problem for any designer worth his salt.
5.) The F drive. Never again will I be able to hear a description of "lacy" dresses without visions of "Copy of Copy of Copy of Copy of exhibit label text 12-05 8pm" dancing in my head.
6.) Tilford Dudley. Sometimes, at night, when I'm diligently reading, and not dancing or dating women, I can feel a pencil-stached presence nodding approvingly over my shoulder...

best things about bbc's robin hood

1. Richard Armitage in black leather
2. Hilariously anachronistic costumes and dialogue in quasi-historical setting
3. Insertion of moral ambiguity into cut-and-dried legend that normally resembles morality play
4. Dubious but wonderful premise that hooded cloak serves as universally adequate disguise
5. "We are Robin Hood" - friendship, loyalty and ridiculously intricate plots and plans
6. Kick-butt Marian who has romantic tension with both Robin and Guy

the jane austen season, reviewed

1.) Pride and Prejudice (1995). Really hard to top. I mean, I own it on video but made time to watch it on PBS anyway. That's quality, there.
2.) Miss Austen Regrets. Beautifully done. Sad without degenerating into romantic tragedy (which Austen would've ridiculed) and much more accurate than Becoming Jane.
3.) Sense and Sensibility. My favorite of the new film adaptations. Nothing against the Ang Lee version, which is great, but the casting wasn't the most accurate reflection of the novel. Minor nitpick: Scenes where the Dashwoods meet the Steeles a little too fast-paced.
4.) Northanger Abbey. Really cute - I loved Catherine's daydreams. The only one of the new renditions where the shorter length worked.
5.) Persuasion. Waaaayyy too short. And the best scene of the entire novel - where Captain Wentworth writes the climactic letter to Anne under her very nose - was cut/altered! Outrage! Didn't love Sally Hawkins as Anne - not nearly self-possessed enough. Bright spot: Rupert Penry-Jones as Wentworth.
6.) Emma (1996). It's really sad when my favorite film adaptation of Emma is Clueless. But I don't really like this one with Kate Beckinsale any more than the Gwyneth Paltrow one - the former is at least fairly reflective of the novel, but Jeremy Northam is much to be preferred as Mr. Knightley.
7). Mansfield Park. This is a tough novel to adapt for film, in part because Fanny Price tends to be the least satisfying heroine both from a modern, votes-for-women standpoint and from a typical romance plotline standpoint. Like the 1999 movie (where her character was merged with Austen's, for heaven's sake), this adaptation gets it wrong. Like Persuasion, it's not long enough. And what is up with everyone's hair?

this week's bottom five

5. Big Ten officials who foul out the top four frontcourt players
4. Announcers who salivate over Wisconsin
3. -18 disparities in free throw shooting
2. Seriously, what the hell?
1. Bo Ryan. Let's just install him permanently in the bottom five and leave it at that.

No, not bitter.